Many people paraphrase the first step of the Alcoholics Anonymous twelve-step program: the first step toward recovery is to admit you have a problem. This may seem like an easy task, but for addicts—and even many people with other types of mental illness—admitting that a problem exists, that it is unmanageable, and that they need help to deal with it is the most difficult thing to do. This is because of a thought process called denial.
While we may all have heard the term ‘denial,’ particularly as it applies to mental illness and addiction, the word has become such common currency that the depths of its hold on a person are typically poorly understood. One of the best-known psychological defense mechanisms, denial is defined as the refusal to admit or recognize that something has occurred or is currently occurring—in spite of ample evidence. While this is a simple definition, the actual activity of denial in the mind is much more complex.
How Denial Works
For some individuals, denial functions as a way to “get through” whatever happens to be going on that their ego is incapable of confronting. Victims of assault or sexual abuse may experience denial in the form of “blocking it out.” While this can help in the short term, allowing those victims to live in a mental space where the event simply didn’t occur, in the long term it becomes increasingly difficult for the mind to screen the memory out.
By the same token, denial in addicts manifests itself in one of two ways: either a complete refusal to acknowledge that problem behaviors are happening, or a minimization of the impact of those behaviors. An addict or an alcoholic may recognize that they drink too much, or that they are doing drugs at an unhealthy rate, but may rationalize it by saying that they are only hurting themselves, or that they have control of the situation, even when they do not. Denial can happen both consciously—in the form of lying to cover up the extent of the problem, or unconsciously—in the form of genuinely believing that there is no problem, or that the problem is the outcome, and not the cause. For example, “If that cop wouldn’t have been there, I would never have gotten pulled over or gotten a DUI.”
Why Denial is A Problem
While denial provides short-term relief for the minds of people who are in its grips, it becomes more and more difficult to maintain. Evidence continues to mount the more an addict or an alcoholic tries to suppress it. And the more actively a person tries to suppress the truth, the more it comes out—which is why so many alcoholics and addicts have seen their lives spiral out of control. They are so busy maintaining the pretext that they are fine, that they have total control of their lives, that everything else that healthy individuals do falls to the wayside.
There is hope, however. While loved ones of an addict or alcoholic may want to help the addict to maintain a normal life—making excuses, helping them to “get away with” things—the best thing that can happen to an addict is to be forcefully confronted by exactly what their behavior is doing to them. It is really only when addicts hit “rock bottom”—and this can be different for everyone—that they are able to come out of denial sufficiently in order to see that they need help. This is the beginning of the process, of course; there are many different states of denial and forms that denial takes. But drug and alcohol treatment centers on learning to distinguish denial thought processes and stop them in their tracks. As addicts get clarity, the ability to descend into denial becomes harder and harder—which is good insurance for maintaining a sober life.
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